As I recover from the valve replacement surgery from April 4th, I keep trying to work on and revamp this website in lieu of working on the small pile of writing that needs attention. I am not mad about it; on the contrary, I’m okay with it right now because OUCH, there’s a big ass hole in the middle of my chest. It’s getting better but I am surprised at the amount of discomfort one human being can endure. Granted, there are people in way more pain than me and I’m really grateful it’s not crippling.
I have now watched more TV in the past 3 weeks than I have in the last 3 years. Oddly enough, it’s been a lot of “comfort” TV like…Columbo with Peter Falk. After watching all of the new show Poker Face, it was almost natural to switch to Columbo as it seems to be a very kindred spirit. Rian Johnson wears his affections on his sleeve and makes Poker Face an absolute delight. It also makes watching those Columbo reruns even more enjoyable.
What have I become?!
Today I spent most of the day punishing the keyboard and I feel fairly accomplished.
Also got through more Columbo. The one where Columbo get’s a dog? Also, Blythe Danner in 1972 looked a whole lot like Gwyneth Paltrow. It’s also easier to see which eye of Peter Falk’s was the artificial one.
But this site isn’t called Nelson Watches Columbo…(not yet)
What I was writing was a story about a goth woman with a black thumb who gets help in getting her garden and yard together. In a really fun and bloody way. Sitting up in front of a desk is suddenly exhausting. Having your breast bone halved affects so much stuff including massive discomfort. (“Massive discomfort” is the nicest way to put “fucking pain from everything except blinking.”)
I was fortunate enough to have at the very least started to write the story before the surgery, for which I am grateful. Sometimes, it works out, but man, between the meds, pain, physical therapy and grabbing my “OH SHIT” pillow when I had to cough, it’s quite a lot to contend with while working out plot points.
The actual function of the pillow was to really provide mostly an placebo effect when coughing or sneezing. For one thing, it’s really really hurts. Second, you get the idea that if you sneeze or cough a lot, your chest is going to explode. It won’t, they say, but I am not convinced. Neither is anyone else, so they encourage the pillow.
The main part of the recovery, is letting the breast bone heal, which takes roughly 2 to 5 months, but a good benchmark is 6 weeks to get the healing to an eighty percent level. Until then, you are not to pick up anything over five pounds. This is rather challenging since there’s a whole lot of stuff that weighs over five pounds in the day to day. Like, a lot.
Wanna do a little laundry after a week?
Five pounds.
Wanna bake some stuff?
Five pounds.
It puts you in the untenable position of having to ask for help, which is sometimes a really difficult thing for a guy in his fifties. Fortunately, I have help here at the compound. But I’d be lying if I didn’t feel helpless.
It sucks.
The old saying is that you must walk the road to recovery. I don’t think it’s a road as much as a gauntlet of patience. I am not a patient guy, but it is coming easier to me. (Thanks Therapy!) It’s the Twenty first century and why isn’t this shit instantaneous?
My writer pal Jessica McHugh has the answer. It is a hearty “Because, fuck you.”
Patience is a virtue allegedly, and for some folks like myself, a goal. Patience would help my general outlook, lower my blood pressure and make shit a lot easier in general.
It wouldn’t spiritually destroy me that my short story still isn’t finished. I have guilt writing this in lieu of that, for example. But, here we are.
So, this is the road to recovery. I can disagree with the metaphor all I want, but I’m on it and all up in it. There’s a lot of healing to do and the big lead up to lifting stuff heavier than five pounds. Also, finishing stuff and exercising and driving.
Yes, driving.
Turning the wheel in a car is a huge strain on your chest if it’s been cut in half.
I imagine that to be true of a lot of stuff that’s been cut in half.
Sigh…
I’m going to go check my blood pressure now, and try to remember when I used to be cool. Then, some Columbo…
N
5/11/23
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